Kraken-lovers, what can I say? If you’ve missed me this last couple of weeks it’s because I’m not a very well kraken at the mo. Thanks to a gruesome case of facial cellulitis I’ve been not just laid low but hospitalised. It’s been one fuck of a time too. Let’s just say that at one point pale-faced doctors gathered at the end of my bed and wondered whether I’d ever live to say the words ‘cockwomble’, ‘ferret-arsed’ or ‘spaff-basket’ again. Naturally, though, my rage helped me pull through. Now all I have to do is gather my strength for my next assault on humanity. So stick with me, watch this space and rest assured that once I’ve kicked this condition in the suppurating cock I’ll be back, Terminator stylee.
The Kraken x