Category Archives: Parenting

The perils, angst and blind panic of spawning

Porn Torn

Look, you know by now that the heatwave has made me sweat so much that I have developed an acute case of trench-tit. Problem is that I’m also starting to wonder if it’s made me develop sweat on the brain. … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Parenting, Sexism | Tagged , | 6 Comments

Block Heads

What in the squalling ladycracks of prepubescent voles is this? You see, while the rest of the world is desperate for a peek at K-Mid’s underparts all while pissing it’s own pants at the news of the royal heir I’ve … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Parenting, Sexism | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Mouthing Off

Spaff-weasel alert! Spaff-weasel alert! You know those times in life when you have to take up arms? Well this is one of those times. Kraken-lovers, I have discovered an enemy so voracious, so black-hearted, so much like Chitty Chitty Bang … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Parenting | Tagged | 4 Comments

Push!

Speaking as a woman who has seen an entire human head erupt from her screeching vagina, I can honestly say that every single day of my existence I am chuffed to fuck that I am not in labour. That’s why, … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Parenting, Sleb | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Parental Advisory

  Just in case you hadn’t noticed, any day now brain-mangling screams will be heard from the vicinity of London as Kate Middleton grabs what’s left of Prince William’s hair and tells him to keep his fucking hands to himself. Yes, … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Parenting, Personal | Tagged , , | 3 Comments