Category Archives: Parenting

The perils, angst and blind panic of spawning

Heave!

I can’t help thinking that I might have suffered a serious brain injury during the night because today, for the second time in recent months, I am decreeing that Simon Cowell is the voice of reason. That’s because during an … Continue reading

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School’s Out

Tell me, kraken-lovers, did an alien race take a gigantic shit in the Earth’s brain in the night? I only ask because I’ve just seen a website that sells school uniforms touting what may as well be teenage girls to … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Parenting, Sexism | Tagged , , | 6 Comments

Cheap Shot

Right. Ok. Hold the fuck on. I’ve just ventured onto a website of such staggerment that you’ll have to give me a minute, not least because my head is now between my knees and I’m puffing into a paper bag. … Continue reading

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The Real Thing

  Look, even though it’s five years since I witnessed the gore-splattered apocalypse of my love tunnel, otherwise known as childbirth, I am still staggered beyond reason at how mothers aren’t allowed to have individual thoughts and feelings. I have … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Parenting, Personal | Tagged , | 14 Comments

Yellowbellies

You know, as much as I write about the foaming idiocies of society’s knobscots and wank-handles it’s very rarely that I actually come into physical contact with them. Indeed, over the years I have done a remarkable job of surrounding … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Parenting, Personal | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments