No, you dope, I don’t mean hire me to shout at unsuspecting strangers. I mean hire me to write for you.
See, as well as being The Kraken I’m an award-winning freelance journalist writing features and columns for the UK broadsheets and mags. I’ve never missed a deadline (even if this means typing while on the toilet), am a spluttering fountain of ideas and will knock out sharp copy over and over again. A bit like a conveyor belt but with more charm and an obsessive hatred of exclamation marks.
So if you fancy a dose of The Kraken in your very own publication (yes, yes, I’ll curb the bloody swearing) all you have to do is ask. Oh go on. Just ask. It’ll be the best decision you’ve made all day.
Email: cath dot janes at gmail dot com