For fuck sake, I can stand it no longer. You see, I more or less retired from The Kraken Wakes a few months ago when I launched my online shop Kraken Kreations (check it out if you want to see a side of the Kraken that you never imagined) but recent events have conspired to drag me out of retirement by my ankles, much like uber-twat Dapper Laughs chatting up a girl in a club. These are not any events though. Shit, no. I’m not talking about David Cameron’s latest bonfire of the benefits or the way in which ITV refuses to broadcast intelligent programming. I’m talking about the King of Events. I’m talking about convicted rapist (oh, and footballer) Ched Evans.
You don’t need me to tell you why I’m writing about Evans, the giant, festering, maggoty sore on the arse of modern society. Not unless you’ve been living inside a dishwasher that’s on a permanent cycle. Just in case you’ve had a momentary lapse of outrage, though, let me remind you that until he was jailed in April 2012 for raping a woman, Evans was a footballer (I hope I never have to turn that ‘was’ into an ‘is’) for Sheffield United Football Club. After two and a half years of serving his sentence, during which time I dare say he hoped that what befell him in the showers wouldn’t be what befell his victim, he snuck out of the prison back door to protest his dead-eyed innocence. So far, so bleak. Until, that is, this week when SUFC, allowed him to start training with the team again making the original definition of ‘fucked up’ look like a range of tea cosies.
I barely know where to start with this. Seriously, I almost didn’t write this blog post because my rage is greater than the speed on my fingers on my keyboard, and said rage exists on so many levels that I’ve created a new unit of measurement. So what is it that makes my eyes spin in my head like a wind turbine? The fact that SUFC are happy to have a rapist in its ranks? The fact that for certain sections of society football is more important than one of the most violent crimes in humanity? The fact that Evans has shown no remorse towards his victim or her family even though her life has been crushed beyond recognition?
Yeah, they enrage me. In fact, as I write this I’m mentally kicking Evans so hard in the cock that he’s ejaculating through his fillings. Yet what enrages me even more is the cataclysmic level of cowardice that seeps from every pore of the footballing world. You’d expect a violent, raping, consent-ignoring, self-serving, unfaithful, glory-obsessed bucket of cooling vomit like Evans to try to weedle his way back into football. He forced himself into a woman’s vagina so why should football be any different?
What I didn’t expect is the insufferable silence that has come from the game of football ever since. Look at it this way: the entire nation is debating the injustice, ignorance and insensitivity of letting Evans back into football. Yet no one of note in the world of football has so much as squeaked about it. There are no debates on Match of the Day, there are no columnists fretting about it in the nation’s sports pages, there are no Twitter loving footballers or commentators breaking cover and denouncing or supporting the Devil’s pact currently held between SUFC and Evans. It’s as if someone turned out national sport into the Marie Celeste.
Why? The likes of Gary Lineker and his overpaid fuckwitted chums will drone on for hours about the state of a free kick but when it comes to an issue of such magnitude that it affects every person in the country (because we call have mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, wives or girlfriends) they keep their flapping gobs shut. The same goes for managers and coaches on repeat-play during press conferences, the financial backers, the kit providers, the team mates…
Cowardice, do you think? Yes. Cowardice. Everyone in football who has an influence on the sport yet is keeping their mouth shut on this issue is a festering coward. That they remain quiet while Ched Evans plays football (even though his victim is probably weeping into the tattered remnants of her once-hopeful life) doesn’t just make them cowards. It makes them a national shame. Every one of them wears their shame on their chest, a badge telling the world that little light rape is just fine as long as it doesn’t affect the league tables.
Well, you know what? Ched Evans will slip silently back into the footballing ranks over my dead body. The footballing establishment may be willing to sacrifice the wellbeing of their daughters or wives for the sake of Ched Evans but I am fucking well not. I will scream and shout about this in the very same way that Evans supporters have chanted about his ability to rape from their piss-riddled terraces. If Evans is the man who committed the crime of rape, the footballing world is his accomplice. May they all rot until our society is free of them.