Category Archives: Parenting

The perils, angst and blind panic of spawning

The Claim Game

Kraken lovers, if there was ever a time to gird yourselves, this is it. You see yesterday, on Twitter, I was faced with a post of such vile, grasping, scum-sucking proportions that I actually screen grabbed it for your personal … Continue reading

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50 Signs of Sexist Asda

So, what in the festering staggerment of a rat-nibbled, fuck-strewn turd, do we have here? That’s right, it’s a good reason for me to stand aside from my sewing machine over at Kraken Kreations thanks to a lovingly provided press … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Parenting, Sexism | 1 Comment

Mothers’ Ruin

  You know what, kraken-lovers? Since Kraken Junior clawed her way out of my abdomen via my shredded love tunnel I’ve learned a lot about motherhood. I’ve learned that midwives only ever re-stitch vaginas to make them look like tortellini … Continue reading

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Dear Katie Hopkins

Dear Katie Hopkins At the risk of starting this open letter in a less than polite manner I feel compelled to ask you this: will you, for the love of fuck, just shut up? No, really. Shut. Up. Look, you … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Parenting, Public, Sleb | Tagged | 5 Comments

Fatty Owls

  Oh for the love of fuck, pass me a paper bag to breathe into will you? See, I’ve had my head betwixt my knees for the last fifteen minutes and I can still feel the oxygen in my lungs … Continue reading

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