Category Archives: Parenting
The Claim Game
Kraken lovers, if there was ever a time to gird yourselves, this is it. You see yesterday, on Twitter, I was faced with a post of such vile, grasping, scum-sucking proportions that I actually screen grabbed it for your personal … Continue reading
50 Signs of Sexist Asda
So, what in the festering staggerment of a rat-nibbled, fuck-strewn turd, do we have here? That’s right, it’s a good reason for me to stand aside from my sewing machine over at Kraken Kreations thanks to a lovingly provided press … Continue reading
Mothers’ Ruin
You know what, kraken-lovers? Since Kraken Junior clawed her way out of my abdomen via my shredded love tunnel I’ve learned a lot about motherhood. I’ve learned that midwives only ever re-stitch vaginas to make them look like tortellini … Continue reading
Dear Katie Hopkins
Dear Katie Hopkins At the risk of starting this open letter in a less than polite manner I feel compelled to ask you this: will you, for the love of fuck, just shut up? No, really. Shut. Up. Look, you … Continue reading
Fatty Owls
Oh for the love of fuck, pass me a paper bag to breathe into will you? See, I’ve had my head betwixt my knees for the last fifteen minutes and I can still feel the oxygen in my lungs … Continue reading