Author Archives: The Kraken

50 Signs of Sexist Asda

So, what in the festering staggerment of a rat-nibbled, fuck-strewn turd, do we have here? That’s right, it’s a good reason for me to stand aside from my sewing machine over at Kraken Kreations thanks to a lovingly provided press … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Parenting, Sexism | Leave a comment

Ched Evans

For fuck sake, I can stand it no longer. You see, I more or less retired from The Kraken Wakes a few months ago when I launched my online shop Kraken Kreations (check it out if you want to see … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Sexism | Tagged | 1 Comment

It’s not so much a goodbye…

  Right then, Kraken-lovers. I have a nadge-worth of news for you. You have to prepare yourself though. Those of you who love me may have to be sedated while those of you who hate me may invert yourselves with … Continue reading

Posted in Personal, Uncategorized | 6 Comments


  For the love of fuck, does Kirsty Allsop ever shut up? I ask because, like a foghorn from the darkness, she insists upon blarting her withered opinions across our cultural ocean with the regularity of an IBS sufferer who’s … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Public, Sexism | Tagged , | 3 Comments

Time to Grow Up

For the love of fuck, kraken-lovers, you know much I adore Facebook but there are times when I want to track down Mark Zuckerberg and tie him to stake forged from mousemats before driving sharpened chip forks through his scrotal … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment