Tag Archives: food
Fruit of the Loon
Tell me, who came up with the term ‘fun size’ for microscopic foodstuffs? More to the point, have they been severely and floridly punished for this? If not, my darling kraken-lover, I am happy to step into the breach to … Continue reading
Choc Full of Bollocks
Oh, for fuck’s sake. For fuck’s, fuck’s sake. Last night I was very kindly offered a chocolate from a festive tin of Roses. I was, of course, chuffed to shit until I went to unwrap said Hazel Whirl. That’s because … Continue reading
Too Many Cooks
Dear God, have you any idea how sickened and shaken I am by today’s realisation that there are four – yes, four – versions of Masterchef on TV? Now, there aren’t enough f-words in the world to describe how much … Continue reading
Whole Lotta Trotter
I’m excited, nay thrilled, to report that Conjugal Kraken is currently suffering from a particularly agonising bout of gout. But why such joy, you trill? Because medical advice suggests that gout sufferers should avoid yeast extract which means Marmite, the … Continue reading