Tag Archives: food

Fruit of the Loon

Tell me, who came up with the term ‘fun size’ for microscopic foodstuffs? More to the point, have they been severely and floridly punished for this? If not, my darling kraken-lover, I am happy to step into the breach to … Continue reading

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Choc Full of Bollocks

Oh, for fuck’s sake. For fuck’s, fuck’s sake. Last night I was very kindly offered a chocolate from a festive tin of Roses. I was, of course, chuffed to shit until I went to unwrap said Hazel Whirl. That’s because … Continue reading

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Too Many Cooks

Dear God, have you any idea how sickened and shaken I am by today’s realisation that there are four – yes, four – versions of Masterchef on TV? Now, there aren’t enough f-words in the world to describe how much … Continue reading

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Whole Lotta Trotter

I’m excited, nay thrilled, to report that Conjugal Kraken is currently suffering from a particularly agonising bout of gout. But why such joy, you trill? Because medical advice suggests that gout sufferers should avoid yeast extract which means Marmite, the … Continue reading

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