Tag Archives: childbirth
Heave!
I can’t help thinking that I might have suffered a serious brain injury during the night because today, for the second time in recent months, I am decreeing that Simon Cowell is the voice of reason. That’s because during an … Continue reading
Push!
Speaking as a woman who has seen an entire human head erupt from her screeching vagina, I can honestly say that every single day of my existence I am chuffed to fuck that I am not in labour. That’s why, … Continue reading
Plug It
Burning beavers on a plinth of shit! Now today, kraken-lovers, I’m relying on you to tell me that the heat has finally gotten to my putrefying brain and that what I am about to tell you is nothing but a … Continue reading
A Hole in One
Whoa! I’ve heard a thousand bollocky statements about parenting since Kraken Junior landed with a splat on the delivery table. I’d name most of them but it’s just easier to suggest you read any of the shit written by Gina … Continue reading